Losing You
by The Cursed Shadow
Summary: We're not meant to lost the people we love most in this world, but sometimes fate has a cruel sense of humor.


Beca ran into the waiting room, eyes scanning every chair in every corner for a familiar face. She'd driven as fast as possible to get there, and had almost gotten a ticket. Her thoughts raced at a million miles an hour and only when someone put a hand on her shoulder was she pulled from the chaos.

"Aubrey!" she exclaimed, smiling slightly, "I'm glad you're here! Do you know anything about Chloe? How's she doing? Is she going to be okay?"

"Beca-"

"Look, we'll talk later, I just need to know what hospital room she's in."

"Beca! Shut up and listen to me!" It was certainly enough to make her be quiet. Aubrey hadn't yelled at her like that since her early days in the Bellas back before she graduated. Taking a closer look at the blonde, Beca saw her eyes were red and puffy. She raised her eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest and giving her friend a look. "Aubrey, what's going on?" There was no answer, and Aubrey only shook her head. "Where's Chloe?"

Her heart hammered through her chest, and the brunette's anxiety only grew as the seconds wore on without answer from Aubrey. What was going on? All she was told on the phone that Chloe was in a car accident and in surgery. She was going to be fine. The love of her life was going to be fine. Chloe wouldn't just leave her. She promised, and Chloe always kept her promises.

There was nothing the two couldn't get through, and every moment was like a heaven on earth for Beca. Not a day went by that she didn't smile because of the red head. Everything they did together had a place in Beca's heart. The nights they'd spent cuddled under blankets, the days they'd walk together in the park, and every kiss was fresh in the girl's mind. The moment Chloe had barged in on her shower demanding that she sang had changed her life. Nothing had ever been the same, and she was glad because of it. Yet, there she stood, seemingly alone. She stood without even the dignity of response. She had no way of truly knowing if Chloe was okay, and Beca was beginning to grow impatient.

"She didn't make it off the table, Beca," the blonde's voice was hushed, and barely audible. Even through the tv noises in the background, and the complaining patient at the front desk, Beca was still able to hear what Aubrey said. She wished she didn't. "What are you talking about?" Pain crawled into her stomach, and the pounding in her chest only seemed to get louder. The thought of breathing never seemed to cross her mind. "She's fine. C-Chloe's fine and she's going to get out of here and I'll take care of her when she gets home. She's going to be fine."

Only a moment after her response Aubrey was shaking her head, and tears marked a trail down her cheeks. "Oh, Beca," she was almost pulled into a hug, but quickly moved back. Her voice was stuck to her throat like peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth. It wouldn't come out, and all the brunette could do was stutter. It was wrong, so wrong. Chloe wasn't gone, she couldn't be. The red head said she'd be back later after getting some groceries. She was going to make the girl dinner. They were having a lazy day, just staying together and holding onto each other. Nothing bad was supposed to happen. She'd begged Chloe not to go to the store, wanting to be with her every second of that day.

Could she have stopped her? Why didn't she keep begging? She should have stopped her, should've saved Chloe's life. This was entirely her fault. No. That was wrong. Nothing was her fault, and everything was fine. Chloe was just in the hospital room waiting for her to get there. She was okay, and Aubrey was lying. She was still alive, and the accident was small and she could come home soon.

"Where's her room, Aubrey?" No response came, and by that time the DJ was getting tired of the constant silence. Silence was not what she wanted. Beca wanted answers, and she wanted them fast. There wasn't time to just stand around and chat about how Chloe was going to be all right. They had to get into the room, and Beca had to apologize for letting her go. She had so much to say, so much to apologize for. Whatever happened to Chloe was her fault, and she needed the red head to know. "Where's her room?"

Enough was enough. If Aubrey wasn't going to give her answers than Beca would find them on her own. She bounded through the hospital, making sure to avoid any nurses that came her way. It didn't take her long to find Chloe's room, seeing as Fat Amy was standing right in front of the door. She nodded to the larger Bella and started making her way in, but Amy moved to block the entry, only irritating her further. "Move, Amy."

"You don't want to go in there," the Aussie replied, shaking her head sadly. "There's nothing there." Beca raised her eyebrow, throwing her hands into the air at how ridiculous everyone was being. "What are you talking about? Chloe's in there and I have to see her." It apparently was Fat Amy's turn to be confused, but at that point it wasn't like Beca actually cared.

The girl was small enough to move past Fat Amy, finding the rest of the Bellas in the hospital room, but the bed was empty. Chloe wasn't there, no matter how many times her eyes glanced around the room the red head wasn't there. Of course she knew the others were staring at her, but stares were something she was used to, and it didn't matter. Where was Chloe? What kind of sick joke were the others playing on her? Why wouldn't they let her see Chloe? "Where is she?" the brunette asked, looking at the Bellas who were either sitting in chairs or leaning against a wall. Most of them had been crying from what Beca could tell. "Where's Chloe?"

"She didn't tell you?" it was Stacie who asked the question, and Beca turned her head to the doorway to find Aubrey in the room with them, standing beside Fat Amy. "I was trying to. She wouldn't listen," the older Bella's voice cracked, and as she looked to the others Beca saw almost all of their gazes to the ground. All but Cynthia Rose. "Where is she?" The girl was tired of all the games. Where were her answers? Where was Chloe?

"Chloe's dead, Beca!" Cynthia Rose yelled, Beca glared at her, watching the other Bella calm herself down as she received piercing stares from the others. "She's dead. Red's gone." The room was silent, but Beca still shook her head, defiant as ever. "That's impossible. Chloe's not just gone. She can't be." All eyes were on her, and she barely noticed Aubrey moving to be beside her. "We planned to be a little more gentle than this."

It was answers she wanted and answers she had gotten, just not the answers she wanted. The DJ shook her head, glancing from the empty hospital bed and back to Aubrey. "No." Tears burned her eyes, and she brought her hand to wipe them away before looking at the blonde again. "She's not just gone, Aubrey. She c- can't just be..."

Her sentence was left unfinished. Aubrey's arms wrapped around her, but it didn't stop the pain from growing in her chest, and the tears to spill from her eyes. She buried her face into the blonde's shoulder, and finally let her sobs erupt from her chest. It was over, and she couldn't lie to herself anymore. Chloe was gone. She would never get to see those beautiful blue eyes again. "Shh, it's okay. Let it out," Aubrey's voice whispered into her ear, and nothing else mattered. All she saw was the blackness behind her eyelids, but tears somehow managed to find their way out. They left streams of anguish down her cheeks. Beca's knees crumbled, and she fell to the ground. The only solidity being the blonde's arms around her, holding her, and keeping her from completely collapsing onto the ground. Aubrey held her on her knees, still murmuring words of comfort into her ears.

The Bellas could only stand and watch, completely stunned as their fearless leader broke down right in front of them. Though always petite, Beca seemed so much smaller. Her once sarcastic and fun demeanor replaced with the atmosphere of sadness and pain. It was agony for all of them, but none of them moved. They let her cry, but it seemed that crying wasn't enough. The brunette cried for a good ten minutes before one of them decided to move from their chairs.

Stacie was the one to stand, but it wasn't that way for long. The tall brunette who had done very scandalous things in her life sat down next to the two, tears flowing freely from her eyes as well. For a moment she met Aubrey's eyes, and shook her head sadly. Her arm wrapped around the girl, and her other arm went around Aubrey. She pulled them closer, holding them tightly in a hug and resting her head on Beca's shoulder. Fat Amy sat down with them, hugging as many of them as she could. One by one the other Bellas joined in, mourning the loss over the reason Beca had become such a big part of their lives, grieving over their greatest friend.

The funeral came much faster than Beca thought it would. She had spend the entire two weeks leading up to it in the apartment she and Chloe had shared. Beca planned to move Chloe's things to give them to charity, but she couldn't do it. The girl couldn't bare to touch anything of Chloe's. Several times she'd tried, but her body would break down into wails and tears.

Holding the red rose tightly in her hands, Beca walked to the casket, carefully placing the beautiful flower over the closed wooden lid. She refused to cry, enough of that had been done for two weeks. She walked back to her seat next to Aubrey, and watched silently as they lowered the casket into the ground. When people started to leave, she stayed sitting in the exact same spot. Of course, she didn't expect anyone to stay with her, in fact she didn't want them to.

"Are you sure you're okay, Beca?" Aubrey asked, standing up from her seat. "I don't think I'm ever going to be okay." Her voice was soft, and though she was about to break down, Beca couldn't, she wouldn't. This was for Chloe, and she had to be strong. "I lost her. I lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me." In silence, Aubrey left Beca alone, and the girl was glad for it. She wasn't used to voicing her feelings to anyone but her red head, and that wasn't about to change.

Everyone was gone, and she was totally alone. Beca walked to the tombstone, kneeling in front of it and staring at the engraving of Chloe's name in the cold, grey stone. It seemed so impersonal, so detached, nothing like Chloe. There should've been more colors, but as she looked down at her black dress the girl realized what an ironic statement that was. Her hand caressed the stone, trying to remember what it was like to put her hand against Chloe's cheek. It didn't work, and she wasn't exactly expecting it to.

"You said you wouldn't leave me," she whispered, knowing somewhere Chloe would hear her. "You promised me. Now look where we are, Chloe. You promised me, and you always kept your promises. Why was this one any different? What was I supposed to do? You said you were going to make me dinner and that you'd see me when you got back.

"Next thing I know I'm getting a phone call from Aubrey saying you're in the hospital and there's been an accident. I thought you were going to be okay, you always said you'd be okay as long as we were together. Why did I let you go out? Why didn't I make you stay with me? I should've held onto you. Why didn't I?

"What did I do to deserve this, Chloe? If you wanted to leave me you could've just said so. You didn't have to do this. I love you so much. That's never going to change, you know? So why are you gone and I'm still here? Why aren't we both together right now?

"What am I supposed to do without you? Why didn't we ever talk about this Chloe! There were so many things I wanted to do for you!" She raised her eyes to the sky, seeing the grey clouds above and thunder clapping in the distance. "Answer me! I know you can hear me!" Rain poured onto her head, and the sudden storm didn't bother her. The brunette lowered her head to rest it against the dark stone.

"I miss you so much. Please come back," her voice was soft, and the rain managed to mask the tears on her cheeks. Eventually she stood, staring at the grave before managing to walk away, but every step was a stab to her heart.

"Oh, Beca," a familiar voice said, smiling up at her. "What am I going to do with you?" She opened her eyes, looking at the woman nestled beside her. Red hair splayed out on the pillow next to her, and blue eyes looked back at her.

"Chloe!" Beca moved over and held her close, placing kisses to the top of her head as she tightened her grip. Chloe didn't seem annoyed, rather the opposite, actually. The red head seemed happy, and giggled with delight. It was Chloe who pulled away, but only to place a long, gentle kiss to the brunette's lips. Tears filled her vision as the DJ placed a hand on her cheek. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Beca," Chloe pecked a kiss to her nose, and for the first time in weeks the brunette's lips curled into a smile. Everything was right again. Chloe was by her side, and she could feel happy. "I love you, and I'm so sorry I left you, but I need you to know something." Beca nodded, listening carefully. "I'm always with you, okay?" The red head's voice cracked, and tears dropped from those beautiful blue eyes. "I'll never leave you. I promise."

She closed her eyes, nodding again, but this time opening her eyes was different. The DJ turned to the side, only to find that Chloe wasn't there. Beca sat up in her bed, looking around and seeing things exactly the way she left it. Chloe was still gone, and nothing had happened.

Then it hit her. She had jinxed the relationship from the moment she'd sang to Chloe in the pool after getting back into the ICCA finals that first year at Barden. Everything that happened, every moment of happiness...

Well, it was only just a dream.


End file.
